I've always wanted to create under the
influence of strong emotions but obviously I had to wait for them to
snowball onto my consciousness. Well today was the day the avalanche
has come. After several panic attacs this week I've had enough. You
always see these tumblr posts about how painting can keep you away
from negative thoughts, forms of self-harm, anything self-destructive really. Basically articles indicating art's healing purposes. Today
was the day I gave the idea a shot. So I pulled out all of my art
supplies and poured my feelings onto a canvas. A canvas dedicated to a
completly different cause. A cause well planned. An idea. A concept
of profanating arts in order to find novelty. I gave up my "try-hard
innovator" attitude and really reflected myself. I am what's on
the canvas. My paper thin visage in a visible, materialistic form. My
feelings, thoughts, fears and auto reviews on full display. A very
public, nude reflection of my soul.
The experience itself was very similar
to "catharsis". As the paint was escaping the tube, my deepest, best-hidden emotions were escaping as well. The creation
process of the piece was what has brought its title to mind. "My
first kiss with art". My hands truly shaking, my eyes chaotically sweeping the surface & my breath gradually
quickening. The experience was so deep and raw it was unlike any
other creation process I have ever went through.
I decided to show what I was unable to
say. And it is for the first time that I truly feel connected to the
piece I have painted. It shows a supernova explosion, agitated ocean,
the dance of defeat in "Wedding" and grains of sahara
sands. It's brush strokes, swatches made with a spatula and nails
scraping the canvas. It's an unworded complection of a self relieved
from a cage-like bodily structure.
Brak komentarzy:
Prześlij komentarz